Wanted: party room for this weekend’s Oswego Speedway Hall of Fame and Awards Banquet at the Turning Stone Casino in Vernon, N.Y.. This room will be used for visiting both before and after the awards portion of the banquet.

Are you willing to invite a group of cooler-carrying celebrators into your room for an extended period of time? Sure, they’ll be dressed nicely. And yes, they will all be in good moods. Warning: a lot of laughing will take place on your watch. Are you ready for that?

Previous to the banquet, many different types of conversations will be held. Who didn’t show up to collect their awards? Who finished further up in points than they should have? Who surprised you in ‘08? Who are you wearing? Who’s getting a new car? Who should? Why does it cost $5.00 less for a banquet ticket if you get eight people together to sit at your table? (I know one six person table who will expect $5.00 a head if anyone else is placed at their table). Whose wife / girlfriend / date looks the hottest all dressed up? Where did you get those Flip-Flops?

After the banquet, the conversation will change. It may be a lot of the same questions, but it will be louder. Speech may be slurred in some instances. You may even hear some profanity.

But the after-party really separates the men from the boys. Are you brave enough to continuously turn away security, who feels that you are being too loud? How many times can you get away with promising that everyone will be quiet, before you are asked to leave? Feel like gambling? Take a chance - it’s a Casino.

I’ve been the party room before. Believe you me - I’ve paid my dues. It takes a lot to get Silly String out of the speakers of a TV, lampshades, door slots, etc. Or so the maid thought. (I still owe Shawn Walker for that, I’m pretty sure…). But I made a major tactical error that year that made me the victim: I handed my key out, and let the crazies in there unsupervised. I recommend against that if you have the party room.

You are not required to provide liquid refreshments if you’re the party room host. But it sure would endear you with your guests if you had a nice cooler full of Juicy Juice, drinks boxes, Jell-O / pudding shots, and maybe a few adult beverages. Just a suggestion.

Special Closing Hint: If the after-party is in your room, sometimes you don’t have as much stamina as your guests. So how do you pull the plug, and get some sleep? Here’s what I did the last time the after party was in my room: I went down the hall, and called the front desk. I told them that there was “a very loud party in room 227”, and asked that security be sent to shut it down. After threats from security, the party dispersed, grabbed my cooler, and went to another room. Cost me a lot of booze, but 4:00AM was enough. Call me a baby.

Party room hosting is not for the weak of heart. But it does have its advantages. The party room host gets to keep all of the empties - an approximate profit of $4.35 if you want to cash them in on your way home. Enough to buy you 2 slices of C-store pizza, if you so choose. I’ve been physically threatened by a random fat guy in someone else’s party room, for absolutely no reason. But not in my own. And if the party’s in your room, YOU control the background TV. You can watch NASCAR and World Series highlights - and SU Football lowlights on Sportscenter as much as you want.

So have I sold you on the party room idea yet? This is your big chance. Party room signup is done by leaving a comment here, or via e-mail at JJcqracing@aol.com. Don’t delay - sign up today. Do your friends a solid!